Ramblings

They say it gets easier after day three and yeah it probably is true if a person is not on mind altering meds. Oh well, I knit half a scarf last night instead of downing a pack of camel lights so I guess that was productive.

Now am off to the post office to scrounge of the government some more.

Horrific nightmares as usual.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG and then some.

I am on day 3 off the smokes and it's not that I want one, it's that I'm feeling irritable and crappy and antsy and annoyed and all that. To make matters worse, my doc has increased my effexor and I'm not sure I'll very feel normal again.

People need to stop fucking ringing me. If I don't answer, then what makes you think that persistence is a good idea.

Also I have a cold sore and no zovirax. Fucking hell

Just a shitty day

I have one cigarette left and I'm going to smoke it tonight. I am determined to make it my last, not least because I have developed asthma recently and breathing has become an issue. Also it's way too expensive.

The problem is that I love it - the feel, the taste and how much cooler it makes me look. Alas those little pleasure must be sacrificed on the alter of health and economy. I'm trying to hunt up other reasons too (easier to exercise, not longer having to hide at family gatherings or wash my hands obsessively...)

Going to try knitting to keep my hands busy instead.

Going to try to be honest about it too.

Going to throw out my remaining rolling tobacco, papers and filters.

I will become an ex smoker or as my friend Cat puts it "a smoker who is just not smoking at the moment", which sounds better to my mind.

Now also for

• venting
• quitting smoking
• remembering to write
• any random shit that comes into my head

Also the themes available are shit.

Yup, I use this account to comment on LJ. Don't use it for anything else at the moment. Maybe sometime...